Friday, September 18, 2009

Friday Humor: Last Will & Testament


I, Grandma Cat, being of sound mind and body (a statement that does not bear close scrutiny) do hereby bequeath all my worldly goods in the manner set forth:

With full knowledge that neither of my sons has an appreciation, or for that matter knowledge of my extensive fabric collection, which by the way is scattered (neatly) in various places throughout my house for safekeeping. And with full awareness and knowledge that my sons have notified The Salvation Army should I precede them, to that great quilt shop in the sky, to pick up and dispose of the aforementioned collection. Therefore I do WILL this collection and all other collections related to it, to my daughter and cohort in crafting, De'Anna Leigh.

It is my wish that De'Anna, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof that I am in fact dead and did not manage (although goodness knows I tried) to take my fabric collection with me, will come to my home, before The Salvation Army searches out my collection and that she should rescue said collection and stack it in my quilting studio, along with my sewing machines, frames, old buttons, lace, patterns, UFO (unfinished objects), dolls, quilts and cats. And after she has done that, she should purchase refreshments for all my friends, and relatives that craft and are not yet departed, which friends and relatives are also her friends and relatives. Every last one shall be in that room and they shall hold a wake and say lots of lovely and kind things about me until they run out of breath (and food) and then they shall divide amongst themselves my wonderful collection oohing and aahing over it whilst they divide it up. Be forewarned! I shall be hovering over them all until this is done.

The remainder of my worldly goods such as my dilapidated car, fixer upper house, Blue Light Special clothing, costume jewelry, and Hector, the meanest cat on the face of this earth, I leave to my two sons Paul and Timothy. May they have all the joy in dividing it that they have given me since hitting puberty.

This is my wish on the matter.


  1. "He michael kors outlet online coach factory outlet seemed like the nfl jerseys same to louis vuitton handbags me. Still massive minus the smalls and still lost. Still cheap uggs sale writing ten, fifteen, michael kors outlet online twenty pages michael kors outlet a day. nfl jerseys In the country, Rukmani and Nathan manage canada goose jackets to survive without much money by living simply on the michael kors outlet products michael kors outlet online cheap jeseys of their own labor. In coach outlet store online coach factory outlet the city, christian louboutin outlet with no work available, Rukmani rues the fact that coach outlet store online only money michael kors handbags counts. The michael kors outlet online city's insistence upon cash michael kors outlet online reduces a person to an animal louis vuitton state and deprives Rukmani of the free louis vuitton handbags will michael kors outlet that coach outlet store online coach factory outlet characterizes her as human.

  2. kobe shoes,
    cheap snapbacks,
    abercrombie and fitch,
    cheap jordans,
    cheap wedding dresses,
    oakley sunglasses,
    nike mercurial,
    michael kors outlet,
    ray ban sunglasses,
    prada shoes,
    moncler coats,
    oakley sunglasses,
    lacoste polo shirts,
    cheap oakley sunglasses,
    adidas outlet store,
    north face outlet,
    ugg outlet,
    mulberry outlet,
    ray ban sunglasses,
    canada goose outlet,
    futbol baratas,
    kobe bryant shoes,
    cheap mlb jerseys,
    timberland boots,
    cheap nfl jerseys,
    longchamp handbags,
    michael kors outlet,


We would love to hear from you, feel free to post any on topic comments. Please be respectful, this is a family friendly blog.

We have turned off the moderation in the hopes that the spam filter will catch the inappropriate comments, if it does not, we will turn it back on. Thanks!